The Foul Pole

When Hockey Players Get Excited…

I’mmmm Backkkkk

Yea baby, that’s right I’m…rahhhh….I’m back…Captain Intensity is back on the scene to make the ladies cream…yea that’s right your boy Ty Han “the man”…sbrough…hmm…yea that’s catchy I like that, I’m keepin’ it. Just like I’m keepin it local, UNC still can get some lovin’ from me…next year will be filled with me ballin’ on and off the court. Yes sure I’m stayin to win a national title, that’s a given, what the press doesn’t know is that the amount of pooty-tang im going to receive next year is going to be as-tra-nomidal…yea astranomidal, I learned about that amount in Astronomy 101, somethin about the universe being really big or something…I don’t know I was too busy texting back and forth with the hotty sittin in row one..she had some glasses on and crap but she wasn’t foolin me…I knew her deal, she gave me the sex eyes when she turned around when I answered a question in class…she was like dangggggg he’s an all-star and smart, I’m like yeaaa boy…”The Brough” ha get it…as in bro…is back to stay and I’m bringin’ a national title back…AHHH RAHHH AHHH…yea baby chest pound!

Ripken denies beating the crap out of Kevin Costner

Let us tell you a story we heard from a very good source out of the Orioles.   They likely heard it from someone else, and even if it is a rumor, it’s something you can tell your friends and they’ll be impressed.

Cal Ripken was allowing the great Kevin Costner to stay at his place while shooting “The Postman,” a complete bullshit movie might we add.  So Cal is off to the ballpark in the middle of the streak and forgot something at home.  Upon coming back, he finds his beautiful wife (Milf, above)  Kelly in bed with Kev-o!  Cal is obviously distraught, so he calls into the O’s and says “I am not playing today.”  “But what about the streak, Cal?” they ask.  “Screw it,” says Cal.  “Okay, it’s taken care of,” says the O’s.  The Orioles then had an issue with the lights (hmmmm) and the game had to be postponed, allowing the streak to continue.

It’s obviously a rumor, but it’s a good one.  We might have screwed up the story a bit as well.

The new thing is that Cal denied beating the crap out of Costner on NPR.

Senators Fans Are Very Passionate

The Senators suffered a devestating 4-1 loss at the hands of the Pittsburgh Penguins last night in Ottawa putting them on the brink of elimination just one year making a run to the Stanley Cup Finals. Needless to say, some very upset Sens fans called the team’s post game show. Irish Tommy stole the show.Listen to Irish Tommy - Post Game rant   

Steely McBeam Gets a DUI

Steely McBeam was met with a lot of public venom and double entendres when he came onto the scene in August 2007. Was he a good influence on children? Did introducing a mascot run counter to the traditional Steeler image?Now with the news that Steely McBeam is a DUI offender the chorus of dissenting voices will only get louder:

  One of the men who dresses as Steelers mascot Steely McBeam has been charged with drunken driving and has been stripped of his hard hat. Kenneth C. Hahey, 24, might avoid a criminal record if he is accepted into the Allegheny County program for accelerated rehabilitation disposition, or ARD. A hearing on his petition is scheduled for May 23 before Allegheny County Judge Robert C. Gallo. Mr. Hahey, who has addresses on Mount Washingtion was charged after a traffic stop Jan. 6 on the South Side. He was arrested after he failed field sobriety tests. During processing at the Allegheny County Jail, Mr. Hahey’s blood alcohol level was recorded as high as 0.173, more than twice the limit at which a driver is considered too drunk to drive.  

Witnesses at the bar say Steely went home in a bad mood after his go to pick up line; “How about some Steely Mcbeam in or around your mouth?” fell through. Friends of Hahey say he is a staunch advocate of pickup lines and frequently boasts of being the only guy in Allegheny county to have successfully gotten laid using both the “Jamaican me crazy” and “You’re the only ten I see” lines. Unfortunately for Hahey, the Steelers immediately give him the shaft er beam. Maybe he should find out if the Washington Wild Things need a new mascot.  (Pittsburgh Post Gazette) 

The Dirty is our source of fun from now on

Well, and Jenna Jameson.  That’s 49ers QB Alex Smith.  What’s with the quarterbacks?

MJ Can Get Really High

We are just seeing this for the first time, but it’s obviously been around.

Here’s hoping nobody is as stupid as this kid.

Some dumb former Wake Forest athlete wrote this on his Facebook status:

Lucas Caparelli “recommends not going to class on Wednesday because he is going to blow up campus. For those left standing he will have an uzi locked and loaded in his bag.”

Now the Washington Post is doing a story on him.  Read it.

Here we go again…Favre mulling return?

In what seems to be an annual thing like Christmas and Easter these days, Brett Favre told the Biloxi Sun-Herald that he might return under the right circumstances.

When asked if he would return to football if the Packers called because of team injuries, Favre said:

“It would be hard to pass up, I guess. But three months from now, say that presents itself, I may say, you know what, I’m so glad I made that decision. I’m feel very comfortable in what I’m doing and my decision.

As we said, this is nothing new.  Favre loves to play with reporters and clearly likes to leave the option open that he could come back at anytime.  It’s kind of like when you say you’re going to stop eating ice cream and smoking cigarettes and then you say “oh, well, maybe I’ll quit next week.”

NCAA Tournament Wrap Up: Gus Johnson Sings Abba

‘Nuff said. Enjoy.